It's been about two and a half weeks so far into my raw food challenge and I'm learning to just go with it. Being super strict worked for the first two weeks but then something happened where I just started to nibble on small cooked things and before you know it, I'm eating bites of rice with soup. Why does this always happen?? I'm sticking with the 90 days though and just going to eat my main meals raw and see how much my mind needs the cooked condiments or nibbles or whatever. ahhhh.....i feel like I'm in a food prison sometimes! My longterm goal is to just eat a few small meals a day and live with that for a few years. That seems healthy for mind body and soul. I want a good relationship with food to where I choose whole foods in small quantities and give reverence for its lifeforce to nurish me while at the same time realizing that I don;t even need it. Really, we don't even need food or drink. Inedia is a strong possibility for me and just may be the path I'm headed.

I started off on yet another "raw adventure" this past Monday but it feels completely different this time...so different that I'm almost afraid to talk about it for fear of losing the change that's occuring in me! Food is my main addiction and it has been since I was a teenager. My experience with bulimia and dieting in high school was just the beginning. Now, I feel much healthier than before, but it is still there...lurking in deep and dark corners just waiting to jump out and take control. It wins...a lot. Hence the extra weight I have always carried even while living a complete living foods lifestyle. It doesn't really matter what you eat...your food shadows show up with every diet. Raw foods does seem to stabalize them for a while but I've always had problems maintaining. My habitual reaction is to binge and purge...or binge and fast...not the healthiest, and not what I'm looking for in my relationship with food. That's a little history so now onto the inspiration~